Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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