ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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