Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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