i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
