hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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