Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
