She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
