so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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