we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How naked do you want me to be?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
