Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
