weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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