D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
