we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
