i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
