it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found puke in my bra..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
