So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
