Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
