dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
