threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
