I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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