so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
