i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
