So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This house was built for laser tag.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
