Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
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