They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
