I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
