WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
