smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
