Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
