i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
did i walk over a car last night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
