Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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