The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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