Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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