Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
