Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
