There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
is wine microwaveable?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
