i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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