I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
