Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The ass gains better be worth it
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