I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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