At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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