i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Sorry about my life...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
