are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
