I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
