We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
