We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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