Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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