She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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