That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
