he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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