Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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